Another in my occasional series of great emails sent to our customer service address at work:
From: [Name Redacted]
Sent: Thursday, November 07, 2002 2:18 PM
To: customerservice@example.com
Subject: why won't you respond to my help request?
i signed up for [service] three days ago and have received NO (0) [service] yet.
worse, i emailed you a help request, and you didn't even bother to respond.
a) please answer my questions
b) what the hell is your problem?
please respond to this message IMMEDIATELY
D'Angelo and the Demons of the New Minstrel Movement