A Blog About Making Culture
Not Rude, Familiar
April 29, 2008
While New Yorkers don't mind correcting you, they also want to help you. In the subway or on the sidewalk, when someone asks a passerby for directions, other people, overhearing, may hover nearby, disappointed that they were not the ones asked, and waiting to see if maybe they can get a word in. New Yorkers like to be experts. Actually, all people like to be experts, but most of them satisfy this need with friends and children and employees. New Yorkers, once again, tend to behave with strangers the way they do with people they know.
From Joan Acocella in Smithsonian Magazine, on why New Yorkers seem rude, but are really just acting familiar with strangers.
Previously: I work at the new Six Apart (in New York!)
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Carol Saha
I grew up and live in California. I’m like that, tho, I will hover to see if I can help someone. I like to help. And I like being right. I always wanted to visit New York, maybe I belong there. Carol
Su
The “common plight” theory feels a bit like stretching to me, but I do agree that New Yorkers are not in fact rude. My favorite response to that impression is that while they’ll be perfectly nice in general, they are also probably very busy and if you’re wasting their time suddenly stopping on the sidewalk to gape at buildings etc., you will find out.
Katy
This completely tracks with my experience. I once spent a week traveling around New York alone with a baby strapped in a backpack. If I ever needed to take off or put on the backback, all I had to do was stop and look a little helpless and I would immediately have 2 or 3 people offering to help. And then falling over themselves to offer me tips about what to do next. It was one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.
I’ve been to New York several times since then and, while I do not understand why people just love to bump into you when walking down the street, I’ve found in all other respects that the people I’ve encountered have been friendly and helpful.
tbit
wow, that is a lot of comment spam.
Anywayz, we are from small town Canada originally and had always wanted to visit NY. We were expecting the classic movie & TV rudeness and were super surprised at the lack of it. Taxis let us cross in front of them, suits held the door to starbucks for us, cops complimented my GF on her fire engine red hair. What really surprised us was being asked for directions all the time. As visitors, did we look harmless? Amusingly, we knew where every one who asked wanted to go.
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