A Legal Precedent For Being Funny As Shit “Gollywaddles!” Solicitor General Gregory G. Garre (no seriously, his initials are “GGG”!) aspires to the title of Most Ridiculous Person In The World to...
Yo Mama's So Fat... I’ve long been a fan of playing the dozens , as is to be expected from anyone who loves language. Last night, in a fit of my usual insanity, I thought it’d be...
Your April Fool's Day Joke Continues to Suck Having been blogging for a few years, I’ve developed a few annual traditions. This one’s a favorite: Warning you off of lame April Fool’s jokes on the web. Eve...
Cracking Jokes The big reason to make jokes is because they’re the best way to get a quick read on the collective mind of the group you’re talking to. The volume of the lau...
Serious LOLs: Come to ROFLCon From lolcats to goatse to the Zidane headbutt , I’ve been at least tenuously linked to some of the web’s most notable and notorious memes. Naturally, when...
The LOL Street Journal What makes lolcats appealing is that it’s simultaneously obscure and accessible. It’s an inside joke told in an online lingua franca, but with a bit of effor...
Friends of Faux Behold, It’s (K)not Wood . I hestiate to make such a bold prediction, but it just may be the best blog dedicated to fake wood and woodgrain that you’ll see to...
And "Will It Blend?" Is Considered Introspection John Scalzi shares a gem and kicks off a predictably stupid comment thread, based on an overheard coversation: “The problem with using the Web as a model for...
Cats Can Has Grammar If you spend any time at all observing net culture, then you’ll have been unable to miss the recent explosion in popularity of lolcats . This relatively recen...
Your April Fool's Day Joke Still Sucks Because it’s still relevant, and people enjoyed it so much last year, I call your attention to Your April Fool’s Joke Sucks , from a year ago. Let’s revisit:...
Panda Joke VIII It’s not the funniest joke in the world, but I’m very proud to have a tradition on my blog that is in its 8th annual incarnation, so here goes again: It’s the...
National Pig Day! I grew up in Pennsylvania, where they still observe the fake holiday “Flag Day”. That’s even lower than Arbor Day. So I’m quite pleased that someone is observi...
I'm a real pretend artist! Those who know me know that I’m pretty much inept at any kind of artistic endeavor. Which makes it all the more amusing that I’ve recently had the chance to pr...
How to Be (Properly) Offensive Background: I once wore a funny t-shirt for a photo that appeared in the New York Times, and a bunch of people thought it was kind of amusing, albeit juv...
Ding Dong, It's a Podcast! Hey, how many companies let you make macaca jokes and say whatever stupid thing you want on their official website? Well, my employer does ! Check out the po...
On Vox: A QOTD From Me! We’ve documented the gross behavior of our dog, as well as the aftermath, which included having to clean things up. What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever go...
Way Too Much What horrifically entertaining punchline finishes this Family Circus take-off at the Perry Bible Fellowship ? You’ll just have to click through and find...
Hooray Cholesterol! Over at Threadless, “ Hooray Cholesterol! ” I particularly enjoyed the chainsaw-wielding cupcake....
Your April Fool's Joke Sucks. Hey, there! I’m your friend, so I didn’t want to be the one to tell you. But someone had to: Your April Fool’s Day joke sucks. Really, it does. April Fool’s...
Seen It I’m pretty sure that dressing one’s child in this manner constitutes child abuse. If you’re interested in committing sartorial offenses against your own prog...
Panda Joke VII Ladies and gentlemen, for the seventh year in a row, it’s the Panda Joke ! A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sa...
The other reason we have the web Other than amusing animations, the web was given to us that we might post cat pictures. (I picture Tim Berners Lee getting his liver plucked out by an eagle da...
Things to remember when I'm dead The following is a brief list of things that you should not do at that point, long in the future, when I have died. Do not display my dried-up, beef je...
Fools, etc. My friends, let us all come together on the one day of the year that unites us all, regardless of color, creed, or nationality, and join voices in harmony to s...
Hazard Pay Even though I’ve got a great job now, not everything is perfect about the gig. For example, I’ve been insisting to anyone who’d listen for the past few months...
Panda Joke IV! Well, if it’s time for me to be away at SXSW again, then that must mean I make up for my lack of updates by reposting the Panda Joke for the fourth (!) year...
I like to post AIM conversations instead of writing Here’s today’s ha-ha funny AIM conversation. Woman I Am Very Fond Of: \ | / \ \ // // \ ######## /// \ ### ### // -- ## ## -- -- ## squish ## -- -- ## ## -...
swoonage Whom do I love more? mimi smartypants or Mrs. Kennedy ? Such wit! Such vim and vigor! What a couple of cards! I swoon. Yea, verily, I swoon....
cheesy teeth Partial transcript of an Actual Phone Call from one of the crazy people at our office: Remember what the doctor said? Well, y’know how he said not to eat a...
MIT Institute of Technology A sign that I roll with a dorky crew: I was quite pleased to get a decent laugh out of Disco Deejay Cameron "Ladies Love Cool Blogdex" Marlow last...
panda joke Just like last year and the year before , it’s time for the panda joke: A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the s...
cinderella 2 And, from the “I couldn’t make this up if I tried” category comes this bus station ad that I started seeing a few weeks ago: It just begs for a horribl...
vending machines I sit by the vending machines on my floor at my office. I always get to hear people pace back and forth between them, considering the many equally horrible opt...
There is some amusing human There is some amusing human nature conclusion that I’m sure can be drawn from the number of emails, phone calls, and instant messages I’ve gotten about my anti...
These rejected Zagat's restaurant reviews These rejected Zagat’s restaurant reviews are gut-bustingly funny. Especially if you can figure out what a quote like “Should be renamed Barfing Dog” is re...
Mark describes himself as what Mark describes himself as what I would want to be: I am a comic genius. Not a genius at comedy, mind you, but a genius who is also a comic....
I just wanted to confirm I just wanted to confirm that cutting one’s own hair with a set of electric clippers is as fantastically a bad idea as one might suppose. It is, however, just...
So, uh, yeah... a while So, uh, yeah… a while ago my employer had a story that jumped on the post-straight bandwagon. Yaaawn....
I was moderately amused by I was moderately amused by these fake video game movie trailers , but maybe you’ll like them more than I did…...
For your enjoyment: Two atoms For your enjoyment: Two atoms are walking down the street. One turns around and says, “Oh gosh, I left an electron back at the apartment!” The seco...
It's Party Time: Brad's Back! It’s Party Time: Brad’s Back ! I’ve been missing the eloquence, intelligence, perspective, and most of all, humor that only Mr. Graham provides in my life....
I've been meaning to post I’ve been meaning to post this for a long time. To those of you who wanted to know how to pronounce my name , (no, it doesn’t sound like “Anal”) you can hear...
Oh man! You people are Oh man ! You people are savages. Well, I have no understanding of my site’s traffic patterns or your voting habits, so I had no idea that I’d have almost 100...
Goddamn Dean is a good God damn Dean is a good writer. I just discovered Cardigan Industries and Textism and I feel almost angry that no one brought them to my attention sooner....
As part of our continuing As part of our continuing series , Things That Are Not Funny: The late Chris Farley, yelling Children being insolent Anything that goes on at Spri...
Things That Are Funny: Old Things That Are Funny: Old people swearing Children swearing Fart jokes Any guy getting hit in the crotch by any object Reciting song lyrics dead...
I've got a question that's I’ve got a question that’s been banging around in my brain for ages now. I’ve seen Melanie Griffith ‘s site linked all over the place, even by people whose wo...
How juvenile am I? Well, How juvenile am I? Well, it still, a year or so after I first thought of it, amuses me endlessly to call N*Sync’s Joey Fatone by the name "Joey Fat One&qu...
Things I realized while reading Things I realized while reading back through my site today for the first time ever: All those Peeves make me seem a lot more curmudgeonly than I really am....
You know that saying, "Fool You know that saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me"? Well, what if someone keeps fooling me over and over, and I know they...
do you call the "What do you call the wooden part of the tree?" Me: "Uh, the trunk ." "I knew there was a word for it."...
Ha ha ha! My epinion Ha ha ha! My epinion on New Jersey has gotten yet another "Not Recommended" rating. What makes Jerseyites so defensive about their smelly, misera...
A clever little quote from A clever little quote from my partner in crime Helen: (Speaking of G.W. Bush) " He just seems like yesterday’s politician, doesn’t he?" I thought...
Oh please, oh please, oh Oh please, oh please, oh please . Let’s not let those damned Martians win this time....
miserable birthday greetings Whew! After a long Labor Day weekend hiatus from updating this site, I have finally returned. Lots of new ideas, but oh so little time to upload them… Firs...
Nancy joins the dumb pictures The new Dumb Picture added today is courtesy of The Tacky Postcard Archive , which Helen had discovered for me a while ago. They’ve got all kinds of insp...
